How to Tell Your Friends You Collect Fine Art Nudes

Any friend who refers to your collection as “dirty pictures” doesn’t know the difference between art and porn. In this case, don’t bother to explain, but you are allowed to wonder what he’s collecting!

Any friend who is embarrassed by the collection or thinks she might be tainted by looking at “such pictures” hasn’t figured out that we’re all naked all the time

–we’re born naked . . .

–we shower naked . . .

–our bathroom mirror doesn’t care if we’re naked . . .

–artists are naked on the canvas; writers are naked on the page; musicians make love to every note . . .

–we undress for doctors, lovers, and masseurs . . .

So here’s the real question: If beauty is skin-deep, what’s naked?

I think you got the gist of this argument.

Then there’s the friend who just doesn’t get it. Collecting art is fine, but why not collect paintings of flowers or abstracts awash in pleasing colors without recognizable body parts. This is when you gently point out that Georgia O’Keefe’s flowers are highly erotic and art is not the same as decoration. Decoration can be purchased in any department store. Art is collected because it doesn’t just hang on the wall. It provokes, raising questions that lead to interesting conversations. Pour this friend a glass of something good, sit down, and enjoy the conversation.